from kid's bedroom to boardroom

Last week I had an aha moment as I have been reflecting deeply on the results I got back from CliftonStrenghts Assessment. If you are not familiar with this tool developed by Gallup, it is an assessment that measures your unique talents & skills - your natural patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving - and categorizes them into the 34 CliftonStrenghts themes. It is a handy tool of assessing how your strengths show up in your everyday life: from work to personal relationships to the way you think, especially if you are in a process of redefining your work area. While the results were not surprising at all (I knew that I am naturally gifted to plan, organise people and resources and make things happen no matter the conditions), I did not expect to have the "Deliberative" and "Responsibility" strengths in my top #5.

Which really got me thinking also in the context of listening to one of my favourite neuroscience podcasts called Mind Architect that was tackling the <universal needs of children> in that particular episode I listened to those days. And there and then it all made so much sense.

The way that this tool describes this "deliberative" strength is "You are careful. You are vigilant. You are a private person. You know that the world is an unpredictable place. Everything may seem in order, but beneath the surface you sense the many risks... For example, you like to plan ahead so as to anticipate what might go wrong...Life is something of a minefield...You identify the dangers, weigh their relative impact and then place your feet deliberately. You walk with care."

Growing up in a loving yet unbalanced and unpredictable environment with a lot of potential for sudden conflict among my parents, I was "forced" to develop and use my risk scanning abilities from an early age. It made me quickly become thorough and conscientious while assessing the family dynamics, moods and conditions before I initiated any action. I remember clearly times in which I would crack my bedroom door open to just have a pick on what was going on in the house and what the atmosphere was before doing/talking or engaging any further. Literally like described - placing my feet deliberately one at a time.

Constantly looking for risks and anticipating actions was my way of preventing problems that directly impacted me and staying out of any unforeseen circumstance or unnecessary trouble. It was also the way in which I was assessing what actions to take, what to say or mostly not to say in order to keep a relative harmony and a sense of peace and safety for myself. It was my coping mechanism to prevent turbulence. And boy did I use and brush up this skill until I left for uni. Little did I know what I was doing and how those repetitive behaviours will shape up my personality and the way I show up in life.

30 years later I am still unconsciously assessing situations (outside work assignments) while consciously knowing that the world is no longer an unpredictable place (though weird to say that with some war zones going on). Nevertheless, I am chipping one day at a time at this behaviour and constantly find opportunities to let go of control and to trust that everything that happens to us it's just to help uncover our true Self.

For those of you exposed in any shape and form to the next generation please be mindful of what behaviour you display, what environment you create and what messages you convey as children suck EVERYTHING in.